SO, WHAT DO YOU DO? A Mother’s Day Tribute

Whether I’m chatting on a plane, in line at the grocery store, or sipping cocktails at the hippest place in town, yeah right, ninety-nine point nine percent of the time I am asked,
“So –  what do you do?”
It used to be a loaded question, especially when it ended with “all day.”

That’s when I was a Stay-At-Home-Mom.
If guilt over not having an ‘outside’ job didn’t have me stuttering and hemming and hawing over not having time because I was chasing after my precious offspring,

I’d shoot back,
“Why, I dress in a ball gown, grab a good book – preferably one with little or no plot – put my feet up on a plush divan,

 sip a range of Martini’s:
cosmopolitan, Milky Way,
and even ‘dirty’ ones when I’m feeling particularly frisky.

 Then I suck on lovely, gooey bon-bons until 3:00 pm,

Lillie Belle 9whereupon I’d remind the driver

to pick the rug rats up from school before advising the chef

when dinner should be ready.”

The question also haunted me in the OCCUPATION box on  standardized forms such as tax returns or patient questionnaires at the doctor’s office
until I decided to list my professional expertise in a separate attachment:

“Besides being the housekeeper, laundress and cook,
I am the daily event organizer, the entertainment director,
the transportation administrator, the procurer of supplies, the accountant, the banker,
the psychologist, the counselor, the teacher, the tutor, the religious instructor,
the etiquette professor,
the judge, jury and both defense and prosecution lawyers,
the diplomat, the nurse, the coach, the cheerleader,
the arts and crafts director, the fashion consultant, the travel agent,
the pet supervisor,

JAZZY and LUCY

JAZZY and LUCY

the plumber, the electrician, the painter, the butcher, the baker,
however not the candlestick maker.”

Eventually, I was able to give up my job as gardener when we purchased a tractor because  mowing the lawn had become more appealing to the ‘men folk’ in the family.
If you had asked my children what I did for a living, they would have told you that I ran a dictatorial monarchy and they were my slaves.

Mothering is a twenty-four hour a day,
three hundred sixty-four and a quarter days a year job.
There were days when I hardly had time for lunch. That was when I’d plan to go back to work just to get a coffee break.

But this was many moons ago.
The four are grown now.
I still stay at home
And I’m still a mother
But now, I am also a
WRITER.

Thank God too, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to applaud my fellow moms’
patience and stamina,
especially those who do work outside the home.
And  also to
Wish all the mothers out there in my world a

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY

photo (9)

So – what do you do all day long?

About Donna Gwinnell Lambo-Weidner

I am an adventure seeking ponderer of the mysteries of the universe, writer of children's books (represented by Stephen Fraser of the Jennifer DeChiara Literary Agency), and lover of anything involving armor, archery, or swashbuckling.
This entry was posted in ADVENTURES, FAMILY, HOLIDAYS, HUMOR and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to SO, WHAT DO YOU DO? A Mother’s Day Tribute

  1. Eunice Kilonzo says:

    Wow, this is interesting 🙂 What you do is amazing.

    Like

  2. ksfinblog says:

    True words for a multipurpose task master…. love the parts about swords…….

    Like

  3. ubensmom says:

    Choice sistah choice….had me very seriously laughing out loud. Your poor slaves! And yes, you are a writer! lotsa love from freezyland xoxox!

    Like

  4. It's Me says:

    Great post, Donna! Happy Mother’s Day to you, too. I spend all day learning to be a human being rather than a human doing. Still learning. 😉

    Like

  5. Happy Mother’s Day, Donna! I have only one worker bee in my hive, but he too — occasionally — compared my rule to a dictatorial monarchy. Having said that, my darling son stood by my side every minute of this past week to guide me past the pain and sorrow. It was worth countless years of Mother’s Day gifts and praises.
    Warm hugs from Amsterdam.

    Like

  6. Victoria says:

    The question shouldn’t be “what do you do?” but “what don’t you do?” Great Blog as usual!! Happy Mother’s Day to you and to all of the members of our wonderful Mothers’ club!

    Like

  7. Victoria says:

    Also. love the pictures, as usual!

    Like

  8. Lyn says:

    Donna, you amaze me with the what you get done — writing, translating, trekking with giant hairy beasts, skiing, travelling… I really need at least 36 hours a day to accomplish just what I need to do. I never seem to bet all the writing done that I want to get done 😦
    Don’t you just love that question though – what do you do? I find there is a subtle difference between how the question is asked of a man though. Usually, it’s “Where do you work?” While the little woman, as you pointed out, is asked, “what do you do?” When I was working in my last job, I said – quite truthfully – “Oh, I work at the ATO” (same as your IRS). That usually shut them up. If it didn’t, and they continued to probe, I would say I investigate business expense claims such as travel and accommodation. LOL that really made their eyes bug. These days, I just say I run my own business as a consultant (thinks, ‘as a writer, proof reader and sometimes baby sitter for my nine grandchildren’). We mothers and grandmothers are worth far more than an employer would be willing to pay us 😀

    Like

  9. Jenni says:

    Brilliant – yeah mum’s can multitask like there is no tomorrow. Of course without us there wouldn’t be one.

    Like

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