Whether I’m chatting on a plane, in line at the grocery store, or sipping cocktails at the hippest place in town,
yeah right, ninety-nine point nine percent of the time I am asked,
“So – what do you do?”
It used to be a loaded question, especially when it ended with “all day.”
That’s when I was a Stay-At-Home-Mom.
If guilt over not having an ‘outside’ job didn’t have me stuttering and hemming and hawing over not having time because I was chasing after my precious offspring,
I’d shoot back,
“Why, I dress in a ball gown, grab a good book – preferably one with little or no plot – put my feet up on a plush divan,
sip a range of Martini’s:
cosmopolitan, Milky Way,
and even ‘dirty’ ones when I’m feeling particularly frisky.
Then I suck on lovely, gooey bon-bons until 3:00 pm,
to pick the rug rats up from school before advising the chef
when dinner should be ready.”
The question also haunted me in the OCCUPATION box on standardized forms such as tax returns or patient questionnaires at the doctor’s office
until I decided to list my professional expertise in a separate attachment:
“Besides being the housekeeper, laundress and cook,
I am the daily event organizer, the entertainment director,
the transportation administrator, the procurer of supplies, the accountant, the banker,
the psychologist, the counselor, the teacher, the tutor, the religious instructor,
the etiquette professor,
the judge, jury and both defense and prosecution lawyers,
the diplomat, the nurse, the coach, the cheerleader,
the arts and crafts director, the fashion consultant, the travel agent,
the pet supervisor,
the plumber, the electrician, the painter, the butcher, the baker,
however not the candlestick maker.”
Eventually, I was able to give up my job as gardener when we purchased a tractor because mowing the lawn had become more appealing to the ‘men folk’ in the family.
If you had asked my children what I did for a living, they would have told you that I ran a dictatorial monarchy and they were my slaves.
Mothering is a twenty-four hour a day,
three hundred sixty-four and a quarter days a year job.
There were days when I hardly had time for lunch. That was when I’d plan to go back to work just to get a coffee break.
But this was many moons ago.
The four are grown now.
I still stay at home
And I’m still a mother
But now, I am also a
Thank God too, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to applaud my fellow moms’
patience and stamina,
especially those who do work outside the home.
And also to
Wish all the mothers out there in my world a
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY
So – what do you do all day long?