GOING GREEN

clubbingWe’ve all been there. You go out for a meal with family, friends, a new lover, a blind date, or your co-workers. In the interest of eating something a bit healthier than the deep-fried buffalo wings and sweet potato fries shrieking your name from the menu, you plug your ears, swallow hard, and choose something green –

a salad, perhaps. If you can’t convince the bevy of saliva squirting taste buds in your mouth to go completely green, you might choose something with greens as a side dish – such as spinach, broccoli, maybe even peas –  or at the very least, you squelch the rebellion on your tongue and simply order a dish garnished with basil, parsley, or rosemary. Something like this –5584225-sweet-potato-fries-with-rosemary-oven-baked-ready-for-snacking--shallow-depth-of-field

 Now, while you’re chatting it up and having a grand old-time, unbeknownst to you, a morsel of plant life gets wedged into some tiny nook between two teeth, way up under your gum – and no one tells you it’s there. Not even the blind date, but I guess he has a valid excuse, right? All he sees is how gorgeous you are.  And so anyway, the meal continues. You eat. You drink. You joke. You laugh…

And still, there’s no mention of that little patch of green that is stuck between your teeth.

photo (31)

Hours later, the meal comes to an end and you stand up to say good-bye. You hug. You kiss. You shake hands, especially with the blind date if your time together really sucked went poorly. In these scenarios, you smile your adios’, ciaos, and auf Wiedersehens and leave.

And yet, still NO ONE has mentioned the shrub growing out of your mouth.

photo (32)

Feeling extremely proud of yourself for not succumbing to the temptation of unhealthy food choices, you announce your will-power and great fortitude to the world on Foursquare before skipping down the street and going about your business – and naturally, as you make your way through the the rest of your day, you are talking, smiling, and laughing with at least another five million people who you meet on your way home.

Still, NO ONE, not a single person mentions the green monstrosity that has taken root between your teeth.

photo (33)Why?

I do not know.

Do you?

My daughter happens to be one of the few people in my life that does point the greenies out when they appear – that and the rogue hairs growing on my chin too.

Otherwise, can you imagine what would happen if she didn’t?

I can…

ME-BeardBraids suited me better when I was a kid.

What about you? When’s the last time you walked around all day with a smudge on your cheek, food between your teeth, or a booger hanging out your nose and no one pointed it out? Annoying, isn’t it?

About Donna Gwinnell Lambo-Weidner

I am an adventure seeking ponderer of the mysteries of the universe, writer of children's books (represented by Stephen Fraser of the Jennifer DeChiara Literary Agency), and lover of anything involving armor, archery, or swashbuckling.
This entry was posted in ADVENTURES, HUMOR and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to GOING GREEN

  1. Vic says:

    LOL and LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are so funny! and the descriptive writing was great too! “bevy of saliva squirting taste buds” “squelch the rebellion on your tongue” Great post!

    Like

  2. ubensmom says:

    Omg slayed me. Best photos evah!

    Like

  3. Lyn says:

    I think this is going to have me giggling all day. I’ll have to show my granddaughter when she gets home from school. She loves this sort of silliness 😀

    Like

  4. Tracey says:

    Loved it, Donna!

    Like

  5. Carmel Festa says:

    Donna,
    Soooo funny! I really enjoy reading your blog although I don’t often comment.
    Love, Carmel

    Like

  6. Vic says:

    I just looked at this post again and practically choked on my dinner! You are so funny!

    Like

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