A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE MALL

Wedding bells are gonna chime very soon, so on the way to shop for my dress I dropped to my knees (well, not really), looked up to the heavens to plead to the goddess-of-formal-wear for a speedy find (yes, actually), and was immediately greeted by this stunning sight in the rotunda of a well-known downtown department store where I do not typically shop.

FullSizeRender

The sheer beauty of this massive stained glass cupola shivered me timbers enough that it made me want to abandon the dress mission and lay down on the white, polished marble floor to watch the sunlight play upon the ship’s lightly bowed sails and spin a yarn about a young lad named Bartholomew who had been thrown into the rank, smoky bowels of a pirate ship after being shanghaied

ship 2in a dingy alley behind the undeniably questionable Hog’s Breath Inn by three foul-smelling rogues the night before he was to wed the proprietor’s blue-eyed, olive-skinned daughter, Isabella, who, upon being left standing alone at the altar to explain the tardiness of her otherwise trustworthy fiancé, had run off and would have successfully drowned herself in the icy bay had the undertaker’s son not passed by on his way home from a How-To-Add-Life-To-Your-Corpse make-up class and heard the 

SPLASH

Stain glass ship

which sent him charging to the edge of the pitted cement pier where the sight of the raven haired beauty bobbing face down in the white-capped waves spurred him to throw off his grey tweed jacket and bowler hat, dive into the inky water with the precision of a surgeon’s scalpel zeroing in on the day’s extraction, and pull Isabella to safety only to have the wiry wench succumb to death’s irresistible invitation on Sunday next when she’d heard that her betrothed was indeed alive and well, but had acquired a taste for pillaging passing vessels rather than purloining kisses from her sweet cherry red lips…

Urged to move on by a band of too well put together saleswomen in black smocks hawking their wares, I never did get the chance to have a lie down and ponder this tale, but thirty minutes later, in a shop with less beautiful ceilings, aided by my daughter and a dear friend, I found a dress – this one you’ll have to wait until July to see.

Avast, me fellow land-lubbers and bloggers, there’s still time through Thursday until the stroke of midnight to add yer response to this week’s Daily Post Challenge themed “On The Way.” If not, I highly recommend checking the other entries out – a veritable treasure trove of creativity.

And…a bounty of thanks to you for stopping by today!

About Donna Gwinnell Lambo-Weidner

I am an adventure seeking ponderer of the mysteries of the universe, writer of children's books (represented by Stephen Fraser of the Jennifer DeChiara Literary Agency), and lover of anything involving armor, archery, or swashbuckling.
This entry was posted in ADVENTURES, EVENTS, FAMILY, HUMOR, TRAVEL/PHOTO Themes, VIGNETTE and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

20 Responses to A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE MALL

  1. vic says:

    great post! lots of fun! I hope you didn’t just settle with your dress. I hope you love it and weren’t just in a hurry to get it done, like your wedding dress.

    Like

  2. Even if you didn’t actually lie down I can still see you lying there, pondering and being whisked away by young Bartholomew!

    Like

  3. Windy Mama says:

    THAT WAS AMAZING!!! Way better than shopping. I stand in awe of a mind that can spin fiction so seemingly effortlessly. Bravo. And looking forward to the nuptials if only to the the MOB dress. Or is it MOG?.

    Like

  4. Wow. Now that is one awesome ceiling. I can see why it stopped you in your tracks. I can’t fathom, however, how in the world you so seamlessly spun that tale! You are too good, Donna. Just too good. And I think we should get a little hint anyway of the dress……just a little peep? If we say PPPPPLLLLLEEEEEEEAAAAAAAASSSSEEEEE??????????

    Like

  5. Lol chuckle chuckle. When is the wedding?

    Like

  6. Susan Stuppert says:

    Donna, beautifully written! 👌
    Your Mother-of-the-Bride dress ‘IS’
    stunning! Looking forward to the wedding in July! 😃

    Like

  7. Carmel says:

    Beautiful story! Beautiful dress! Such an exciting time!
    Sending love.

    Like

  8. vic says:

    Wow! That is a gorgeous dress! It calls for diamonds! earrings, bracelet, etc. better talk to Mr. Man.

    Like

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