BFFD – A Pet Peeve

“Even you, Sir Richard Branson? You should be ashamed of yourself!” was my first thought, as I took my seat on Tuesday night’s Virgin America red-eye flight from San Francisco to Florida. I even mentioned it out loud. “Looks like I need to write Richard a letter,” I grumbled.

Why? NO PILLOW. NO BLANKET. I know. BFFD—Big Fat Fudgey Deal!

I don’t have many peeves, but all those cuts in airline amenities are still high on my list of pets. Meals, baggage, earphones—what’s next? BYOTP? Bring your own toilet paper?

I was tired and cold. All I wanted to do was pull my knees to my chest, snuggle up against my window, lay my head upon their soft, fiber-filled, fairly-normal-sized purple pillow,

Photo courtesy of Flickr

Photo courtesy of Flickr

cocoon in my blankie and, hopefully, sleep the four and a half hours to Fort Lauderdale.

Besides, I had already been teased. I knew full well that the tourist class ensemble would not be as warm and cozy as the cushy, red fleece, plastic-covered set centered on each first class seat, but I never expected the duo to be missing completely.VXinterior-640x426

“They were seldom washed after every use anyway,” the flight attendant offered, in an attempt to relieve my disappointment. Of course, he did. The picture of an alien pygmy’s drool pooling in the center of that soft purple cloud flashed before my eyes; his acrid scent attaching itself to and emanating from a napkin-sized polyester red throw accosted my nose.

Please don’t judge me. I have nothing against aliens or pygmies—once we all are able to travel into outer space, we too will be aliens to other forms of life. And, as for pygmies, I am only 4 foot 10 and ¾ inches tall myself.

After a short night tossing and turning like a roast chicken on a spit, the sun began to rise.

VA3

Still incensed by Sir Richard’s audacity, but being an optimist of sorts, I began to think about the environmental ripple effect of his supposedly greedy decision to eliminate this once common airline artifact:

Not having to clean, wrap, and transport tens of thousands of pillows and blankets per day saves mega tons of water. It even reduces the amount of detergent and its resulting toxins from being released into nature. It cuts fuel consumption—no longer having to transport the items to/from the laundry IN ADDITION to whatever fuel—petroleum, electricity, gas—is used in the production of the plastic that said blanket and pillow are wrapped in AND the transport and production of the chemicals needed in their production, the resulting effects of their production on the environment, and, and, and—well, you get the idea.

So, do I still need to write to Sir Richard Branson about my experience?  After all, he does have lovely crews, good service, and well maintained, patriotic aircraft –VA2 Shall I applaud him for his environmental and sustainable decision to remove pillows and blankets from his airline’s flights?

Perhaps. Yes. Definitely.

Then I could also mention my idea for installing a reverse suction fan element into every seat to address API-SMEFS—Airplane Induced Smelly Farts. Depending on a person’s output, the passenger could, in effect, get a rebate for said output. Someone just needs to figure out how to transform these fumes into jet fuel.

So, what are your pet peeves? I’d love to know—

About Donna Gwinnell Lambo-Weidner

I am an adventure seeking ponderer of the mysteries of the universe, writer of children's books (represented by Stephen Fraser of the Jennifer DeChiara Literary Agency), and lover of anything involving armor, archery, or swashbuckling.
This entry was posted in ADVENTURES, HUMOR, TRAVEL/PHOTO Themes and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to BFFD – A Pet Peeve

  1. Jane English says:

    yet another good one — thanks for the smiles it induced in me

    j

    ________________ Jane English PO Box 90 56 – 10 Pond Road East Calais, VT 05650 802-456-1004 http://www.eheart.com

    Like

  2. Stepping in poo because someone didn’t clean up after their pet. I know I should be more careful, but sometimes it’s hidden under the fluffy weeds!

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  3. Vic says:

    very cute! great pics!

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  4. Nina Kozain says:

    I liked the roast chicken on a spit image – funny post!

    Like

  5. Sue LaNeve says:

    You were in Ft. Lauderdale? So close but still so far away. You are a most talented blogger! Update me on Pollo!

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    • I’m sure our paths will cross one of these days Sue and thanks for the compliment. Pollo is in revision and you will be the first to know when I’m done…beginning of April. I’ll keep you posted…

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  6. Lyn says:

    I always fly Virgin (I have Virgin mobile too) but the last time was about 4 years ago so I can’t say whether we still have pillows and blankies here in Oz. I think I’ll take my little blow up pillow and super light easy-to-scrunch blankie next time just in case. Your thoughts on what they are saving by getting rid of them made me mutter, “Well, I never thought of that.” It’s amazing how we often think of just our own personal comfort instead of the bigger picture. Great post Donna 🙂

    Like

  7. Lyn says:

    Oh, how ungrateful I am … I almost forgot….thank you for visiting my blog and liking, “I’m a Writer, but I’m feeling Dejected and Rejected” 🙂

    Like

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