This adventure has been rated OSFA, One-size-fits-all, by the International Knee-Sport-and-Leisure-Sock Association of Planetearth. Otherwise known as IKSLAP.
Have you seen this sock today?
After half a century of sitting on their hands, many members of CADS, the Center for the Abnormal Dematerialization of Socks, still refuse to accept that the daily disappearance of an inordinate number of the world’s socks is a problem of epic proportion. The fact that a Small Society of Leading Scientists (SSoLS) has been working 24/7 for decades in search of an answer to this dilema doesn’t seem to faze CADS in the least.
CADS claims that worm-holes, black-holes, even rabbit-holes have only been suggested as the notorious sock-napping culprits. CADS wants proof. They want witnesses that can attest to the fact that our loyal foot-warmers have not left home willingly, especially in the case of frayed and holey socks. CADS does not dispute however, what has unfortunately now become, our socks’ perilous journey from odiferous foot, to washing machine, and back to a fragrant residence in our bureau drawers.
In their words, “The only way to be 100% sure of keeping your sets matched is to
HAND WASH ONLY.”
I don’t know about you, but that’s not gonna happen here!
Obviously, the specialists haven’t consulted me on the matter.
I know my dryer is the culprit.
Doesn’t he look guilty?
I’m CADS’ witness. I have seen it happen. And I’ll cry it from the wash-load tops.
My dryer is a spinning, spiraling vortex into another world – one fraught with strange, phobic, single-sock wearing creatures –
actual beasts that are unaware of the chaos they are creating in my world when they decide to keep only one of my precious sole mates. I would almost rather that they kept the pair. Then at least it wouldn’t leave the sole survivor abandoned in this world,
lost and alone.
I once heard a Lakota medicine man say
“We are the same. We are different.
We are all an integral part of life.
We are life—
Some of us are red, some are black, some are white, some are yellow.”
A socking similarity, right?
So now, since many of my socks have moved on to a land where perhaps,
I have decided to keep my mismatched socks. They get along well together. At least, I’ve never heard them complain. As of today, I promise to wear them once a week—on Wednesdays—in celebration of how we too, you and I, are the same, and honoring that we are also different.
In support of WE ARE THE SAME – WE ARE DIFFERENT,
Won’t you join me one day a month and wear your single socks?
Please, pretty please, share your photos too!
I’ll post them on the first Sunday of the month.
dgweidner [at] gmail [dot] com