WHERE THE LOST SOCKS ARE

This adventure has been rated OSFA, One-size-fits-all, by the International Knee-Sport-and-Leisure-Sock Association of Planetearth. Otherwise known as IKSLAP.

Have you seen this sock today?

MISSING - Last Seen Entering Dryer

MISSING-Last Seen Entering Dryer 12/12/12

After half a century of sitting on their hands, many members of CADS, the Center for the Abnormal Dematerialization of Socks, still refuse to accept that the daily disappearance of an inordinate number of the world’s socks is a problem of epic proportion. The fact that a Small Society of Leading Scientists (SSoLS) has been working 24/7 for decades in search of an answer to this dilema doesn’t seem to faze CADS in the least. CADS claims that worm-holes, black-holes, even rabbit-holes have only been suggested as the notorious sock-napping culprits. CADS wants proof. They want witnesses that can attest to the fact that our loyal foot-warmers have not left home willingly, especially in the case of frayed and holey socks. CADS does not dispute however, what has unfortunately now become, our socks’ perilous journey from odiferous foot, to washing machine, and back to a fragrant residence in our bureau drawers.

photo

In their words, “The only way to be 100% sure of keeping your sets matched is to
HAND WASH ONLY.”

I don’t know about you, but that’s not gonna happen here!

Obviously, the specialists haven’t consulted me on the matter.
I know my dryer is the culprit.
Doesn’t he look guilty?

dryer

I’m CADS’ witness. I have seen it happen. And I’ll cry it from the wash-load tops.

- The happy couples prior to being washed -

– The happy couples prior to being washed –

My dryer is a spinning, spiraling vortex into another world – one fraught with strange, phobic, single-sock wearing creatures –

sockjazz2

actual beasts that are unaware of the chaos they are creating in my world when they decide to keep only one of my precious sole mates. I would almost rather that they kept the pair. Then at least it wouldn’t leave the sole survivor abandoned in this world,
lost and alone.

- Oh, where, oh, where has my other sock gone -

Oh, where, oh, where has my other sock gone?

I once heard a Lakota medicine man say
We are the same. We are different.
We are all an integral part of life.
We are life
Some of us are red, some are black, some are white, some are yellow.”

A socking similarity, right?

So now, since many of my socks have moved on to a land where perhaps,

shoes the shoe is on the other foot,

I have decided to keep my mismatched socks. They get along well together. At least, I’ve never heard them complain. As of today, I promise to wear them once a week—on Wednesdays—in celebration of how we too, you and I, are the same, and honoring that we are also different.

photo-1

In support of WE ARE THE SAME – WE ARE DIFFERENT,
Won’t you join me one day a month and wear your single socks?
Please, pretty please, share your photos too!
I’ll post them on the first Sunday of the month.

dgweidner [at] gmail [dot] com

About Donna Gwinnell Lambo-Weidner

I am an adventure seeking ponderer of the mysteries of the universe, writer of children's books (represented by Stephen Fraser of the Jennifer DeChiara Literary Agency), and lover of anything involving armor, archery, or swashbuckling.
This entry was posted in ADVENTURES, HUMOR, SHORT STORIES, SINGLE SOCK SUNDAY and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

21 Responses to WHERE THE LOST SOCKS ARE

  1. Vic says:

    I love, love, love this one! I laughed out loud! I loved the acronyms! I loved the photo “exhibits”! It was really clever and funny! Great job!

    Like

  2. Vic says:

    I think the milk carton and the dog are the best pics!

    Like

  3. Too funny. Hi Jazz! The strange thing here is that it always seems to be B’s socks, not mine. What does that mean? Love the Wednesday idea, I’ll tell B he’s in!

    Like

  4. Lyn says:

    LOL oh Donna, this is a hoot! I love the CADs and the SSLS. I bet you have fun writing this, your imagination is running rampant 😀

    Like

  5. Reblogged this on Donna Gwinnell Lambo-Weidner and commented:

    A blast from the past today – freshly dug up from the archives – I hope you enjoy it AND please send me your own photos for May’s Single Sock Sunday! Have a wonderful week…

    Like

  6. Victoria says:

    You need to add a follow-up or new edition. Kind of like Oprah’s where are they now.:)

    Like

  7. menomama3 says:

    I’m in! A family of 5 has mismatched socks galore! Everyone in this family is a sock thief. We’re found foraging in drawers past the midnight hour, looking for mates. Fruitlessly. Sign me up to the WATS/WAD movement.

    Like

  8. Victoria says:

    Hey! And where’s the photo I sent you?

    Like

  9. You really socked it to us, didn’t you? I cannot voice how much I love this!! And the sock on the milk carton! LOL. They really should start putting them on laundry detergent boxes, eh? But I know! Do a post on a new dating website…. Mismatch.com! Refuse to let any shoes make profiles.

    Like

  10. Jenni says:

    Lost single socks de-materialize in the wash [not the dryer for me as I only use the clothes line] and then re-materialize in your cupboard as wire coat hangers. I have come to this conclusion over time. I never, never buy or use wire coat hangers [very bad for the shape of shirts] and yet at the end of each season when it is time to put away the summer or winter clothers and put in the next seasons outfits I always find at least 4 or 5 wire coat hanger just sitting there in the cupboard. Nothing hanging on them and only noticeable once the other clothes have been removed.

    Like

  11. Susan says:

    AWESOME!!!
    I thought I was alone in having this predicament!!! I do NOT – look forward
    to laundry day – alone, for this reason!!! Having to part with beloved socks – who travel into the unknown – NEVER, to be seen (or found) again!!!
    : (

    Like

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