‘Twas the day before Christmas
when I realized this poem 
’twas ready for the trash bin
(after stifling a whopping groan).
But then I asked myself, 
“What’s Christmas, without a fun ’twas?”
So I grappled with this rhymer thinking, 
I’ll just add a disclaimer clause. 
Okay, there you have it, my apology in advance,
even though there’s a risk of boring you,
I’m willing to take that chance…

‘Tis time to write a ‘Twas again
for it’s December, 2020,
but rather than rehash the year,
Here’s my favourite recipe for A Holiday Spaghetti.

First, you’ll require a laaaaarge pasta pot
filled to the brim with red wine and a shot
of brandy, one orange, sliced, and a teaspoonful of honey
Wait! That’s one cup of brandy, and no, I’m not trying to be funny.

Not yet.

Since the children are no longer zooming, but are climbing the walls,
toss them the trimmings to start decking the halls.
While they are busy, return to the stove,
add 3 sticks of cinnamon and a fist full of cloves.

Now that the dog heard the clatter of spoons, pots, and pans,
she’s sure to be drooling and nudging your hands,
So fetch her a biscuit and send her to her spot
before her wild jiggle propels projectiles of…oh, you know what.

By now claims of, “It’s my turn!” and all manner of irate chatter
will prompt you to drop everything and go see what’s the matter.

As you stomp ’round the house, a scowl etched on your face,
ignore the violent urge to take off and give chase,
for it’s Christmas, the hap-happiest time of year,
the time to spread kindness, goodwill, and cheer.

So, Where are they, my young’uns? My rambuncious offspring? My urchins?
you think while scoping the room, attempting to subvert their diversions.

That’s when you notice the glistening stars and stuffed elves,
pop-corn garland and pine cones strewn across your book shelves.
Hopefully to your liking, if not, never fear,
it’s not something that can’t be swallowed with a good bagel and schmear.

By the time the mistletoe’s hung and lights twinkle on the tree,
your cauldron of wine* will be mulled and ready. 
This is the moment, once you’ve poured yourself a cup, 
you reach for the phone, dial out, and order up
your favorite holiday spaghetti.

And so, dear friends, if I still have your ear,
I wish you prosperity and good health 
all through next year.

❤ CHEERS ❤

* Mulled Wine Recipe *