Certain words in the English language make me cringe. The short, staccato sound of them wrinkles my nose, puckers my lips, and stabs my ears. One of the two most wince-worthy in my book of offending words has recently sent me on a quest to finding an acceptable replacement even though the short burst that thrusts forth from pressed lips when expressing it ‘speaks’ for its meaning.

Once I’d set my intention, it didn’t take long. I already knew a German substitute was out. Too sharp. Too similar. The French word didn’t strike the right chord, either. Then I hit the mother lode. Italian. It’s not only a tolerable word in this melodic and passionate language, it makes me want to scent it with lavender oil and bathe in its languid luxury. See if you agree…

Ohhhh, rilassati – é solo una scoreggia. Isn’t it delicious? Scoreggia. Say it out loud. Ahhh, the lilting cadence.  

Check this one out – Lei assomiglia ad una scoreggia in una scarpa. The words dance off your tongue, don’t they?

Even if you don’t speak Italian and simply sound it out, the sing-song rhythm, gently undulates off the tongue – Potresti provare a fare un caffé che non sia una scoreggia in faccia come questo.

The language is lyrical and enchanting. It makes the English version sound like a string of sour notes tooting from a bass trombone…Oh, relax. It’s only a fart. She looks like someone farted in a shoe. You can try and make me some coffee that doesn’t taste like a fart in the face.

Apparently, regardless of language, the word stops wild animals in their tracks.
L’hai sentito? È la scoreggia agonizzante del cinghiale morente!

Did you hear that? It’s the ever-loving death fart of a warthog!

RUN, mio piccolo elefante! RUN!

❤ May all your quests be fulfilled with joy and laughter today ❤

About Donna Gwinnell Lambo-Weidner

I am an adventure seeking ponderer of the mysteries of the universe, writer of children's books (represented by Stephen Fraser of the Jennifer DeChiara Literary Agency), and lover of anything involving armor, archery, or swashbuckling.
This entry was posted in ADVENTURES, HUMOR and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to IN SEARCH OF A NEW ‘F’ WORD

  1. STTTAAAAPP! Hahahah. This was so funny. Thank you. I needed this today – and every day!


  2. Kurian says:

    Interesting post Donna


  3. Susanne says:

    Scoreggia! Ouch. It scorches like a jalapeno and squeezes like fresh lemonade. It feels like — okay, maybe I better stop. But its a brilliant word and a worthy competitor to its Anglo-Saxon dominatrix. You are a root-toot-tootin’ hoot, Donna. Good one!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Love it.
    I wonder if my rising 7th grader learned scoreggia yet in his Italian class. I’m sure he’ll welcome this one on a vocabulary card!
    To add, some Welsh friends told me that the “F” word in the UK is “trump.” 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Have you ever heard an elephant trump?


  6. Funny! I have to ask my husband who learned Italian in college if he remembers this–I know curse words tended to stick with him. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. kutukamus says:

    Now this is classic
    Neither too strong, nor too weak
    But some perfect scoreggia music! 🙂


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