The night our relationship began was like any other August evening in the San Francisco Bay area. Foghorns droned. Seals arp-arped. A chill fog rolled over, under, and around the Golden Gate Bridge, spreading its misty fingers into the nooks and crannies studding the bay’s coastline. It stretched all the way up to the Williams – Sonoma on Chestnut Street, forcing the store manager to close the shop’s double door early. He really hadn’t needed to hurry, since the moment she walked in, the temperature in the room rose at least ten degrees from the warmth her cherubic, rosy-cheeked face exuded.

I was smitten. Leaning up against a wall of wire whisks, wooden spoons, and a rainbow of egg timers, I agonized over how I might attract her attention. As it turned out, there was no need for concern – she immediately met my gaze and bee-lined toward me. After a brief exchange with the hired help, we were introduced, had a few laughs, and headed out the door together, into the obscurity of the night.

I had never been taken home to a woman’s apartment before, or since, I might add. We got along splendidly – sharing the same passion during the days that followed – baking cakes, pies, and cookies together in her stunning apartment at the foot of the Bay Bridge. “I’ll be hosting a memorial service next week,” she told the doorman after he commented on the delectable scent wafting into the hallway when he delivered two dozen white roses from her most recent ex-lover. In the evenings, we would sit together making plans for the future over a steaming cup of Ghirardelli hot cocoa, the other San Francisco treat.

Imagine my surprise when her husband came home late one night and she used me to bludgeon him beyond recognition. When the police arrived thirty minutes later in response to a noise complaint, she had already tidied up, covered me in kindling, and set me ablaze.

IMG_0462  Epilogue:
The woman’s diabolical deed did come to light,
and post-haste, as of March 1st,
all rolling pins will be fitted with a cautionary label:

photo 2

Thank you Daily Post Weekly Writing Challenge: Object
for todays inspiration.

About Donna Gwinnell Lambo-Weidner

I am an adventure seeking ponderer of the mysteries of the universe, writer of children's books (represented by Stephen Fraser of the Jennifer DeChiara Literary Agency), and lover of anything involving armor, archery, or swashbuckling.
This entry was posted in ADVENTURES, HUMOR, SHORT STORIES, WRITING CHALLENGES and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

40 Responses to OBJECT OF DESIRE

  1. ubensmom says:



  2. missL says:

    Hahah. Funny. 🙂


  3. Victoria says:

    Woa! Unexpected! Beautifully written, as usual, the fog was described very foggily! and creepily! Since when is passion about baking cakes and cookies? What was the assignment?


  4. Delightful! Love the mystery of the common object…


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  6. Heh heh heh, you totally had me going there 🙂 Love the surprise ending.


  7. Lyn says:

    Donna, Donna, Donna. Words fail me. The ending certainly was not what I was expecting. Hook, line and sinker. Beautifully done! 😀


  8. menomama3 says:

    I was on pins and needles! And now I’m kind of hungry for something sweet, besides this story. Good one, Donna.


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  10. I love the twist, Donna. Very creative indeed. The description is smooth, easy and witty.


  11. Pingback: Weekly Writing Challenge – Object – 24 FEB 2014 | Joe's Musings

  12. litadoolan says:

    I enjoyed this story so much! Good twist.


  13. Corinne Fabian says:

    Goodness Donna…you have a dark side! Loved it…


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  15. Susan says:

    Creatively, awesome writing!!!
    Donna – the ending, was SO
    I’ll never shop in Williams Sonoma (nor view rolling pins) & be in the same mindset, again!!! LOL


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  17. *shocked face* I didn’t see THAT coming! I like the line ‘In the evenings, we would sit together making plans for the future’ – brilliant 🙂


  18. L. Marie says:

    Wow! I didn’t see that coming!


  19. L. Marie says:

    So well done!


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