GOBLINS, GHOULS…and OREOS?

It seems to me that every year retailers begin selling their holiday wares a month earlier than they did the year before. At the rate they are going, by 2020 we’ll be spinning dreidels and decking our halls with holly in June. If it was up to them, they’d probably have us stuffing multi-colored, creme-filled chocolate eggs, gefilte fish, and matzoh balls into the barren cavities of our Thanksgiving Turkeys too, just to get a little more moolah mileage out of their seasonal goods. It’s a crazy picture, isn’t it? Yeah, well it’s just as crazy as taking a perfectly good cookie, like an OREO, and making it Halloween friendly by stuffing it with, are you ready for this?

Candy Corn!

Candy Corn Oreo

UGH!

I suppose if you love candy corn, you’ll be rushing off to Target now, urged by your salivary glands, unconscious of the fact that someone has gone and ruined a perfectly balanced cookie. Hey, I love bacon, but I wouldn’t stuff it into an Oreo, hmmm, wrap it  maybe? NO! It’s just not right. When they came out with the double stuffed Oreo, I could likewise almost understand it. Some people like lots of creme and they should have it. I’m sure that covering the cookie in chocolate fudge and later in white fudge, made the chocoholics and defenders of equality in the world ecstatic too. But then came the triple-double stuffed, the peanut butter creme, the red-colored creme for the winter holidays

YUK!!!!
(That’s just wierd!)

Even a golden Oreo made it onto the shelves of our grocery stores

imgres

(That’s just not right. It’s not an O-R-E-O, people!)

Did you know there are over 25 different types of Oreo?

oreo 2

I am a purist when it comes to food. I like my burgers plain – medium rare on a bun, salt and pepper – that’s it. I like my pancakes with syrup – period. No dusting of white powdered sugar. No bevy of blueberries accompanied by a lone raspberry and a slivered strawberry set on a dab of whipped cream adorning the rim of the plate – just a couple of pancakes with a splash of maple syrup – real 100% maple syrup, tapped from a tree growing in the Canadian north-east. No…

When it comes to an Oreo, this is what I want – oreoPlain and Simple.

 The toughest decision I want to make when I snag an Oreo is whether or not to dunk the entire cookie in a glass of milk or take it apart and eat the middle first, saving the chocolate cookie outside for last. And while that delectable balanced morsel of cookie and creme melts in my mouth, the only thing I want to do is to close my eyes and jive to the original Oreo jingle stirring sweet memories of childhood in my head…

80Ah yes, well, they say the only certainty in life is change – the Oreo cookie sure makes a case for that. The more I think about it, all this Oreo innovation has ignited within me the call for new adventure – Japan – gotta get me one of them Oreo Green Tea Chocolate Bars.

 So, what about the goblins and ghouls I promised in my title? I have it on good authority that they like the original cookie the best too…

oreo ghoul

What are your thoughts? Are some things simply best left alone?

I’d love to hear from you!

About Donna Gwinnell Lambo-Weidner

I am an adventure seeking ponderer of the mysteries of the universe, writer of children's books (represented by Stephen Fraser of the Jennifer DeChiara Literary Agency), and lover of anything involving armor, archery, or swashbuckling.
This entry was posted in ADVENTURES, CHILDHOOD, HUMOR and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to GOBLINS, GHOULS…and OREOS?

  1. This was a fun little trip down memory lane (the song) and so shocking otherwise here in the land of we are lucky to have Oreos! I’m a purist too tho I like the looks of that red filling for Christmas.

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  2. Vic says:

    candy corn oreos????? ewwwww! I agree! green tea oreos? great! they must be healthy! I’ll have to eat them they’ll increase my metabolism right? You didn’t mention oreos and peanut butter! But yes, there’s nothing like popping a plain old oreo in your mouth and slowly savoring it!
    Yum!!!

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  3. Roxie the Outlaw says:

    I’m all for “don’t mess with perfection”. And my favorite wording: “barren cavity”. I don’t know why that made me laugh so hard, but it really tickled me!

    Like

  4. Diana says:

    You missed the Heads and Tails. They are the Oreos with 1 half chocolate cookie and the other half vanilla. Love that picture of you.

    Like

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