Who said time travel is impossible? James T. Kirk managed to do it in five episodes of STAR TREK. Marty McFly took us BACK TO THE FUTURE more than once. H. G. Well’s did it in print and Metro Goldwyn Mayer put it on film in THE TIME MACHINE. As I promised when she became engaged, now that my daughter has bought her wedding dress, I invite you to follow me into the past to the day I bought mine. *Drum roll please* Nope. Not working. The theme from Twilight Zone is still the best…
Don’t be alarmed. It’s not uncommon for the page to ripple and fade before we dive in. I do suggest you pop a motion sickness tablet however, especially if you’ve never had any experience with inter-dimensional travel. Ready? Set? JUMP!
*cough-cough* I apologize for the dusty landing, but I don’t typically transport so many passengers all at once. Did we lose anyone? Oh, the cute, buff dude with garlic breath? I hope he didn’t detour to the land of the lost. If he did though, I’m sure all those gym visits will pay off – unless that ornery saber tooth tiger still has room for dessert. Okay then, let’s proceed.
It’s 1981. Jamaica. Not the rife with coconut laden palm trees, island floating atop an azure, turquoise spotted sea with a piña colada in your hand Jamaica, but the New York, park your Pontiac underneath the ‘el’, recovering from a sanitation strike Jamaica. The seventeen day walkout might be over, but there’s still some tidying up to do, so hold your nose and follow me.
Somewhat dark and sinister even on a sunny day, the location is enough to send Bella Lugosi running for his life. Or would that be death, considering his circumstance? Oh, and you there with the umbrella. That’s just the 17:40 to Manhattan thundering from above. Keep it handy though, it’ll be dark soon. Now, where is that shop?
We’re looking for “Bella Bridal” – the horror reference is honestly not intentional. The store has been fulfilling brides needs, especially those with champagne taste and a beer pocket, since before any of us were born.
I like to think that thirty-three years ago I was not wedding dress shopping alone, but I can’t remember having anyone with me. Decision making has never been my forte. Oh, but wait! I have you guys here this time. I feel better already. And…here we are. Single file, please. Save your comments for later. You don’t need to turn off your cell phones because, well, really?
Just be a fly a swarm on the wall.
Accompanied by a tinkling bell, the glass door scrapes across the threshold ejecting a dark-haired old woman from her seat behind an ancient Singer sewing machine. Making my 4 feet 10 and ¾ inch frame appear tall, the gnocchi shaped figure straightens her belted, black dress and shouts, “Buongiorno! Ow can’a I elp’a you?”
Reminding myself of my mission to spend less than any friend or relative that had walked the aisle before me, I tell her I’m in the market for a
cheap reasonably priced bridal gown. “Ahhhhh, si, si,” she says and whisks me to a wall of billowing white clouds. Her arm, pin cushioned at the wrist, flies through bales of fluff and faster than you can say “Is that my car alarm?” she pulls out the perfect seventy-five dollar gown.
“Now’a for da veil…how’s a ninety-fi dolla’?”
We’re talking a scrap of mosquito netting attached to a skullcap. She must have noticed the 95 painful thoughts pinching my face into a prune because she claps her hands, strokes my arm and says, “I’m a gonna make’a you an offer you can’t’a refuse. I giv’a you dress, veil, slip’a, an’da alterations. I make’a nice and pretty. All dis for two’a hundred doll’a cash’a!”
“SOLD!” I cry.
It appears that I didn’t need your help after all. Or did I? Were we there all together thirty-three years ago? Are we there now? Will we be there again tomorrow? That’s the crazy thing about time travel, isn’t it? You just never know…
BUT I had my bargain and my car was right where I left it, with all four tires still attached. Seven months later, Mr. Man and I said ‘I do’ and the rest is history.
Thanks for joining me on yet another challenging adventure.