Today, the saber wielding mad scientist from my childhood dream of becoming a heroic do-gooder has been awakened from its decades long slumber in the depths of my sub-conscious mind by a lamp. Yes, a lamp.

Not the genie in the teapot kind of lamp, but one that mildly resembles the lava lamp made popular in the 1960’s – only it’s way cooler.
The lamp I’m talking about resembles a giant upside down test tube. It speaks to my inner scientist – that mad cap child who stayed up late at night growing tiny mountains of crystals in shallow petri dishes and mixing innocuous potions with her chemistry set – concoctions capable of disorienting wayward foes in a cloud of home-made purple haze.

image: evilmadscientist.com

The lamp I’m describing houses a long, slender blade which is centered in the heart of the fixture. The sword’s etchings, rune-like shapes carved above strategically placed swirly do-dads, hold secrets of a lost civilization and its heretofore unsolvable mysteries that have sadly been scattered upon the winds of time. Her curiosity piqued, my chivalrous Joan-of-Arc side is beckoned to free the blade ensconced within, much in the way the boy Arthur was challenged to pull Excaliber from its mythological stone.

The lamp is mesmerizing. I might even go so far as to call it ‘controlling’, if its beauty didn’t hold a hand over my mouth and cramp my fingers to keep me from revealing that thought. Can a lamp be that diabolical? Nevertheless, its thin, dancing threads of light have managed to revive the dormant child-like excitement that has been hibernating in every molecule of my body since I was eight. I’m jazzed – all four feet ten and three-quarter inches of me. The sight of it makes me want to run my fingers through my hair, wring my hands, and shout ‘mwahhhhhhh’ like Dr. Frankenstein did on that infamous dark and stormy night.

Now I ask you,
This lamp – this fantasmagorical object of light and inspiration for today’s post,
Isn’t it great?